For as long as it lasts

I just found out a long time favorite friend is moving away.

After a minute of feeling sorry for myself at the loss of a fun friend I began the cycle of grief.

How does it go? denial, loss, fear, anger, acceptance?


Somewhere after the denial that it was, in fact, true. Came the loss and poor me feelings, and the fear things would never be the same and who would I go to lunch with now?

 Then came a fleeting second where I was angry, "how dare she leave me and live her own life?" Which lead to thoughts of , "Would I have done things differently with other friendships had I known this was the end result?" and that second really was only one second, because as soon as I thought it, I knew, "No, nothing would have changed this, because I live and love as much as I can for as long as I can, for as long as it lasts."  It just felt right. This is really how I choose to love.

I do this with all of my friendships and relationships now. I'm not sure when I started doing and feeling this way, but I feel good about it.

With any relationship with friendships or lovers, or dating or acquaintances, I feel like you can enjoy it wholly for what it is, and take what you learn from each one and at the end move forward in life having learned a lesson or felt something new.

 Everyone you meet and associate with has something to teach you. Perspectives to gain or feelings to sort through.

The real trick is not to lose that ability to love and make friendships or losing hope or attempting to prevent perceived potential pain, for fear of getting hurt.

How many amazing experiences do we lose out on if we stay inside and hide under the covers all day everyday where it is air conditioned and safe and comfortable? I'd know I'd  miss out on amazing sunsets and fluffy clouds against brilliant blue skies and those are some of my simplest pleasures in life, seeing them in pictures is nice but experiencing them myself is so much better.

So, even though this new loss of an old friendship makes me a sad, and triggers feelings of loss, I will enjoy the last few weeks I have with one of my favorite friends. and we always have facebook to pretend like we see eachother more than we do. Pictures won't replace the long lunches with talks about everything and nothing, and the girls nights and dinners. but they are definitely better than nothing and I wish her every happiness on this new adventure and hope that she will be happier where she goes, she'll make new friends but also know she always has one here who loves her unconditionally.

© 2016 crazymamaof7

16 months old now and full of it

It has been almost a year since I've posted  over here. how lame. I just read all of the archives and
man i'm bummed  I haven't kept up with the stories.

Patriot turned 1 in march, he's 16 months old now and full of it. I've never had one so young doing so much. He's always trying to do things on the computer.

he can find and start his own movies on netflix on the xoom. he loves Yo Gabba Gabba.

and he LOVES to play ant smasher on my phone.

he's always in the fridge looking for a snack .

he climbs up the banister on the stairs like he's climbing mt. everest. 

he runs everywhere. and he makes the cutest happy sounds all the time. 

his words he says? 

thanks to 13 yr old Peyton he says POOP,  and he'll point and say "you suck!" 

teenagers. always teaching the baby fun things. 

he only tells Peyton he sucks though. 

he always runs up and gives a hug and wants kisses. he's a sweetie. 

he rarely has fits or cries. probably because he gets whatever he wants. 

His summer nap schedule has been non-existent. He was napping in the car morning and afternoon during the school year while i did taxi service, and since I rarely have to take him anywhere during the summer, he's not napping. He needs a nap but can't relax enough to take one at home, sometimes he just crashes.

 hopefully he will once school starts again. 

He wears size 24 month or 2t and a size 7 shoe. he weighed 25lbs at almost 16 months and he is about 35 inches tall. 

Patriot is a delightful,  if too active toddler.

 he doesn't act or look like a one year old. I wish he'd stay small a little longer. 

maybe if i got his hair cut again he'd look younger? 

I couldn't imagine our family without him. 

© 2011 crazymamaof7

More delightful than dishes or laundry.

I spend my days loving on this guy.

it's way more fun than dishes or laundry.  I KNOW for a fact that they will be there waiting for me when I finishing snuggling my baby.

so in the meantime, I'm sticking with the advice in this poem...

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow...For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow...So quiet down cobwebs... dust go to sleep...I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep!!

This age doesn't last long enough. I can't believe he's already 5 and a half months old.



He rolls all over, scoots forward accidentally and will probably start scooting with purpose too soon for his mama's tastes.

 I'd like it if he sat content to play on the floor and not move until he's one at least.

but sorta like his nickname "RIOT" suggests,
and like all babies that decide they have things to do and places to see,
he's going to be a handful,

HOW DID I SEE THAT COMING?!




© 2011 crazymamaof7

Rocking the single mom gig

things are going pretty well rocking the weekday single mom gig.

the kids and i hang out, we go swimming and every Friday we go to summer movie fun. I spend the day cooking and cleaning up after everyone. but it's relaxed and low key.

certain days are crazier than others, Thursday's we have the maid come and then piano lessons for 5 kids.

Last week was super crazy with the usual Thursday stuff and then the bug guy came and later the 2 big kids got to go see Harry Potter 7.2 with my sister and her kids for the midnight show.

The kids got home at 3 am and i was suddenly wide awake until 6 am. i fell back to sleep until 8 and then my feet hit the floor running for the rest of the day.

movie fun, drove home and fed kids, went for an oil change, got the emissions on the car done, ran to the airport to pick up the hubs, had a few minutes to prep for our date night to Harry Potter with the middle kids Joy and Paxton and the hubs uncle Tony. afterward we ditched the kids at home and went out to 5 guys for dinner. i hadn't been there and thought we'd try something new.

i liked it.  except walking in people kept staring.

one couple apparently was admiring the baby. (she came up and said how handsome he was and was rewarded with big smiles from Patriot.)

 another couple seriously had a staring issue, turned out i looked amazingly familiar and she finally figured out she was in my brothers ward and we'd seen them out with them before plus her kids went to the school Pierce went to for Preschool. she might have thought i looked familiar but her husband spent more time staring at my cleavage than my face.

i hate being stared at .

Saturday, after all week flying solo i needed a break. i had wanted to sleep in that day for once but not sleeping in the same bed all week makes it hard to tolerate the hubs snoring and after i'd had enough sleep it woke me up and there was no going back to sleep.

after making a FABULOUS pancake with strawberries and whip cream breakfast i ran away alone.

to grocery shop. whoohoo

that night we went out with the hubs high school friend and his wife. (the one Peyton went to scout camp with) it was a FABULOUS TIME!  we just went to dinner at costa vida and sat and chatted for a few hours.

I super hope we go out with them again, it was delightful. She's amazing (she was PTO president last year) and we had tons in common (we both have big families) the conversation lacked for nothing . and the husbands were already great friends and are so much alike.

we are trying to work out a vacation next week. and it turns out, i don't love traveling. the thought freaks me out. packing for everyone. going somewhere i've never been. spending money. ack.

we'll see if it works out. it's the only week we have available. and yet it isn't ideal.

i'm beginning to freak out about back to school. clothes for the herd and school supplies break the bank every year.

OHHH but guess who is coming to AZ in September? NEON TREES! we are planning on taking the first 4 or 5 kids. and leaving the littlest ones with someone while we go. all of us are SUPER EXCITED!






© 2011 crazymamaof7

Patriot is growing fast.

Patriot went for his 4 month Dr. visit last week.
on July 11, 2011@ 4 months and one week old

 he weighed 17.52 lbs. and was 26 inches long.
he's in the 95th percentile for both height and weight.      
                 
he's fully wearing 9 month size clothes.

he's happy and smiles at everyone he sees.

he found his toes. and he chews on them. obviously he's got it down.

he also has mastered rolling over and flips himself over and scooches his buns out of the carseat and swing if he's not buckled in.

he's also starting to rear back and try to flip himself out of the bumbo seat.

I've found him a couple times with his legs outside the bars of the crib. i'll get a picture next time.

he loves oatmeal.

he sleeps from 8 until 7:30ish regularly. he doesn't need a bottle or binky to fall asleep. he just wants to lay down and be left alone. he rolls over onto his side and crashes.

he's a DELIGHTFUL baby.

we'll have fun when the kids go to school next month. i think i'll miss my helpers around though. i don't anticipate getting much done when he's awake. or he'll get to spend quality time in the exersaucer.





© 2011 crazymamaof7

The end of an era and onto new adventures.

As of now I officially have a 7th grader. HOLY CRAP!?! where has the time gone, and this doesn't make me old now does it?

here is my LONG (WINDED)/ OVERDUE post about the end of the school year delights Peyton  HAD THE PLEASURE OF EXPERIENCING  the last few days of 6th grade.



 At the end of May Peyton went with his 6th grade to San Diego.

ON AN oceanography field trip.

they went to the floating sea lab, Sea World for the day and Scripps aquarium.

 which up to this point in his life it was the longest he'd been away from me with someone other than family.

me being the mom, and Peyton being my first, i was NERVOUS! he did take his phone so we could text and see how he was doing.

 he  didn't get lost or hurt, and made some better friends. overspent on souvenirs and of course had a FABULOUS TIME! some of the pictures sucked. and i haven't actually asked him about them yet.

but here are some that i thought were self explanatory. 

this was on the floating lab boat. it was apparently wet. 

Peyton with a GIANT stuffed polar bear. in the gift shop at sea world. 

(you love how it's turned wrong don't you?) 

 On the beach. with his friend Hyrum 

 ( WHO Peyton is at scout camp with his ward this week, it's a funny story as to why, i'll explain at the end) 

and another boy who i don't know. 

The WHOLE GROUP! 3 sixth grade classes worth

i have no idea how many went (obviously this many) or didn't go. 

but my other kids thought this was the coolest opportunity ever and now insist we can never change elementary schools because they want to go on this trip too now. 

 pretty sure these are statues. i'm guessing at Scripps? or sea world? anyone know? i'll ask later.

So that was the big trip. the week before the end of school. 

THEN 2 days before the last day they had a HUGE end of year private party at the Jr.High Pool. 

pizza., sno cones, popcorn, beach balls and commemorative t shirts. 

fancy schmancy. 

and on the very last day of 6th grade they had a 

PROMOTION CEREMONY 

the theme was. 

with great power comes great responsibility. (spiderman) 

with a super hero theme. 

i was sorta late, and had to sit in the back. not late but NOT AN HOUR EARLY. 

Peyton's ELP teacher was there. and he got a special math olympiad award. and a long description about the hard work and extra commitment ELP was for the last 4 years.

and then i was a little surprised Peyton was awarded the presidential academic award.

 for having  (can't remember the requirement right now) GOOD GPA since 4th grade.

AWESOME! 

anyway. he was all gussied up because the teachers said to dress their best for the big day.

 he called last minute and wanted me to bring his jacket. 

(he went to school in dress pants and shirt and tie but apparently the status quo was higher than that.) 

as far as the story about Peyton going to scout camp with Hyrum? 

Peyton had been friends since we moved here with Hyrum at school.

we were sitting in the foyer at church (after school got out for summer) and the hubs good friend from Highschool walks in. 

HEY! what are you doing here?? small world. etc. he's in the ward after ours. 

scout camp came up,

  Peyton's troop is doing a 50 mile hike in Colorado in july (but we aren't sending him,) 

instead of scout camp. 

This friend, said, HEY HE SHOULD COME WITH OUR TROOP! 

my son is going, i'm going. he's welcome to come for the week up with us. 

COOL. 

So he said my son is Hyrum --------. 

Hey Peyton, do you know this kid, Hyrum --------------? 

YEAH! he was in my class we are good friends. 

and i had an OMG (GOSH) moment , THAT IS your wife?! 

we had talked at school functions but never made the connection.
I said HEY, we'll have to double date.

how crazy is it that the nerdy dads and the nerdy sons pick the same kind of friends?

all on their own. 

like father like son. 

So this week Peyton is gone at scout camp  with his friend.

 He's having a great time, according to the hubs friend. 

ANYWAY. super SMALL WORLD!

it's the end of an ERA. but he's on to new adventures and excited about what is to come.

© 2011 crazymamaof7

First day of summer break and Joy's Friend Birthday party.

When you have a summer birthday it's harder to invite school friends to your party. 

So 2 days after my birthday. and the day after the last day of school or the first day of summer vacation. 

Joy had a friend party. 

to celebrate her 9th birthday. 

Swimming was on the agenda. 

8 of her little friends showed up. 

 They swam for about a half hour before they abandoned the pool

  for the trampoline, the teeter totter and the playhouse (which i didn't get a picture of )

there was cupcakes and treats galore, but you know what everyone was most excited about? 

WATERMELON! 

seriously wasn't what i expected at all. 

she had a glorious time. and was THRILLED to have a friend party with all of her school friends. 

© 2011 crazymamaof7